So many years are wasted on just forgiving and not progressing past that point. When someone does something to us we forgive and say we have moved on.
Have we really?
For me it started when I was in my twenties after accepting Christ in 1989 I started on a journey towards change in my life...proactive change. This led me to kneeling at the foot of my bed and forgiving every one of the five individuals who took away my innocence and led me on a road to pain, confusion, bitterness, and anger. I needed to forgive them in order to move on.
However, some 15 plus years later, I am still there at the foot of my bed. As a matter-of-fact, I am still in the bedrooms, closets, empty living rooms, and all the places I was molested. I left my little girl in the corner crying her eyes out not knowing who to trust. Unable to tell even my own mother who to this day still does not know. I am not sure if she ever will.
This stagnation in my life has caused me years of turmoil and unnecessary anguish. At 38 I am in a state of bewilderment because I thought I had moved beyond that point. I see now that I have not.
So it is time to pull up my sleeves, get down in the mud and work this stuff out. It won't be so bad this time though because I am doing it with God. I am in a process of being healed, so that my deliverance from this darkness will move into the light of liberty.
It is my prayer that my open book moments will be a testimony for more than just me. It is time for a change in the lives of all abused individuals. I pray that some woman, boy, or girl will read this memoir and be healed, delivered from darkness and moved into the light of liberty.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I've been leaving the little girl in the corner too as well. I need to make the changes. I feel thats why God is taking me through the pruning process and we are going through things little by little.
the first thing of course is giving up country music. It will be 1 week tommorrow since I went without it.
Post a Comment